Lexington High School – Scene 6. Detention
“…and then I grabbed that motherfucker by the back of the head and beat his face into the wall until it was bloody as shit,” Cade concluded with a proud smirk.
“Because he called your brother out on being gay?” Seth asked idly.
“He called him a faggot. Faggot! Can you believe it?”
Seth’s laugh was harsh and mocking. “You call him that every night, dude. Seriously. Every night.”
Lexington High School, Scene 5. PE.
PE was probably the most worthless class in the history of all classes. Ryan was 110% sure of it. They stretched for exactly five minutes at the beginning of the period before lapsing into an unorganized game that resulted in 70% of the students wandering to the back of the gym to text, gossip, or harass each other.
But even so. Even so. Coach Ferguson gave him shit for his asthma.
“Stop being such a pussy, Freedman,” Doug snarled.
Scene 3. French Class
The bird had been hopping up and down the branch for twenty minutes. It took precisely five hops to the right, three back to the left, two to the right, and four back to the left to end up nearly where it had begun. Even after it flew away briefly, when it returned it did the exact same thing. Even when sitting still, its little head hardly stopped moving.
A perfectly choreographed chickadee.
Focusing on the cheerful bird was the only way Boyd kept his mind off the morass of despondency that had befallen him lately. It had been four days since Hsin had been suspended for attacking Mr. Carhart.
Lexington High School – Scene 2. The List (for members 100 and 101)
The crawl space above the ceiling tiles was surprisingly clean. Hsin had discovered the spot after studying the blueprints of the building when attempting to locate an adequate location to get lit during the school day. Previously, he’d just smoked under the bleachers or in the basement. But then Dean Archer found all of his hiding spots and started chasing him down. He got a little too physical with Hsin sometimes, grabbing arms and dragging him– It was certainly against regulations, but Hsin figured he’d deal with it by breaking a limb or two. It was like the guy wanted to end up hospitalized.
He exhaled slowly and watched as the small cavern filled with smoke. He hoped that it got out through the vents and everyone got messed up on a contact high. Mostly he just hoped that the school would blow up. Or that he had explosives to blow up the school. Or that everyone would commit ritualistic suicide while he and Boyd watched.
Lexington High School, Scene 4. The Vega Conference.
Two years of being Hsin’s guidance counselor, and Zachary had never met his father. He’d started to think that perhaps Hsin didn’t have a father. That this tall, skinny, emotionally disturbed teenager lived on his own and just faked a really believable West coast accent when someone called for an IEP phone conference or whatever.
But that was not the case. And Emilio Vega wasn’t what he’d expected.
Clearly under 30 years old, obviously some kind of gang member, most definitely as high as his son tended to be, and ridiculously hot. Tattoos everywhere, gold shutter sunglasses, skintight black t-shirt…
Zachary decided it would be best to just stare at the wall for the entirety of the meeting. Maybe Boyd was onto something with that technique.
Lexington High joke fics — Scene 7: the hero
Hsin was so impressed with his own restraint when it came to not allowing Douchebag Trovosky to be killed, that he had expected to be immediately commended by his peers.
When that didn’t happen he cut the whole next day, and stayed in his room smoking loosies and wondering when someone would give him a pat on the back for doing the right thing. Probably never. Being a hero was completely overrated. It occurred to him that he should have waited until the last possible moment to intervene on the plot. He could have swooped in to stop the likely inept-assassins, but only after letting Trovosky get roughed up a little. Boyd would have seen the whole thing, and likely would have reassessed his bullshit pro/con list. Hsin was positive that it was what his father would have done.
Lexington High School – Scene 1. The Meeting (for members 100 and 101)
They’d been sitting in the guidance office silently for ten minutes. Zachary checked the clock again, noting that they were already eight minutes overdue. Boyd had been staring blankly at the wall the entire time, completely unmoving. Zachary almost wanted to wait longer before making a call; just to see how long it would be before the kid spoke. He was certainly one of the weirder ones on Zachary’s caseload. Blond, pale and all in black, Boyd was definitely going for some kind of emo, vampire… thing. That in itself was not so weird. The silence and tendency to stare blankly at walls, though, was a little odd.
Zachary had shifted back in his chair and started to grab the phone when Boyd commented tonelessly:
“I told you they wouldn’t come.”
Back in 2013, Santino and I wrote some ridiculous AU high school ICoS drabbles as a joke. We did it to celebrate as we got more members at our Santino & Ais Goodreads group, by writing a new drabble each time we reached a predesignated mark. The fics have been living over there all this time but I was recently asked if they could be accessible anywhere else. And, just in case anything ever happens to Goodreads, I’d hate to lose these ridiculous things so I’m posting them here.
I linked them in order below. I’ve also included Santino’s original warning about these fics because seriously, I know I’ve said it twice already but it’s true: they’re ridiculous. We made fun of the characters by way over-emphasizing/dramatizing their personality traits or other aspects of them.
Oh, and if you couldn’t tell, we changed peoples’ ages respective to each other so everyone could be in the same high school, as students, teachers, or parents of students. So Boyd and Hsin are pretty much the same age in this.
THIS IS NOT CANON BTW. That should be obvious but I need to emphasize that. But it is pretty funny…. I’d forgotten how funny it was until rereading them all for posting here.
Original note from Santino below:
“WARNING!
These are seriously what Marleen said they were… basically AU fanfics of our book. Written by us because we’re absurd. They’re not super edited or crafted to be wonderful pieces of literary art.
If anyone else would want to pick up and write some of their own for fun, feel free, btw.
We have 7 planned scenes in this AU high school thing. All of them are short and deliberately OTT. Basically, we’re poking fun at our characters a bit. ”
READ THE PARTS BELOW:
For some obnoxious and bizarre reason, even though I published/posted the parts in order, it put them out of order when you scroll down my blog. So the links above are what you can use to find them in order or by clicking the link to the next part placed at the bottom of each scene.
I’m posting this here mostly so I don’t lose it if I ever need to find it again.
I saw your tweet asking for the answer to be a mini fic… I’m not sure if I did this right but oh well, this is what I did lol These are not canon answers btw, it’s just a joke about ways people could respond.
The Inner Workings of an Ais 