This is from tumblr… since I wrote so much I thought I should post it here. Also in case anyone finds this useful.
lol I have no idea… I didn’t realize those scenes were seen as well-written ones until we started getting feedback from readers that they thought they were really good. I guess for me, personally, I don’t differentiate between topics; to me, a sex scene is dealt with exactly the same way as any other scene in the way it’s approached. I’m not sure if that’s a common thought process but it seems sometimes when I read books that authors have some difference in their mind between them which I think affects the writing of it, and thus the reading of it.
I don’t know if it helps but I wrote (as always, a lot) about the sort of stuff I usually do/think about. I also included some excerpts from ICoS (DC Evenfall volumes I and II) at the end to try to illustrate a little better what I was talking about in comparison.
I suppose the tl;dr answer would be that I personally treat all scenes the same in terms of wanting it to be meaningful to the overall story, but I do write normal scenes differently than emotionally-charged scenes (including sex scenes) by trying to make the reader feel more like they’re actually there in emotionally-charged scenes, experiencing it too, so they understand why these scenes might affect the character so much.
Anyway, these are my thoughts/tips from my perspective as a writer (and also a reader) in no particular order: