WMHB: The Internet-friendly Guard

We’ve been working on the edits of the Evenfall rewrites this weekend. We broke the book into quadrants so we’ve been working on different chapters. I’m editing a scene in Evenfall chapter 22, and I cannot tell you how much I want to write something in dialogue I really just can’t do. But if I can’t stick it in story, at least I can blog about it.

Behind a cut for spoilers in Evenfall chapter 22.

This is the scene as it’s currently edited:


“What the hell is this?”

“If you read it, you’ll see it gives me clearance—”

“To release Vega to his apartment, yeah, I went to kindergarten, too,” the guard said snidely. He waved the paper in the air and glowered at Boyd. “I mean, this makes no fucking sense. This isn’t protocol. We get orders through chain of command, not through agents prancing around with special clearance straight from the Marshal.”

What I really really omg you guys don’t understand! want to have the guard say in that last line is:


“We get orders through chain of command, not through agents prancing around with their special snowflake paperwork.”

He can be the internet-friendly guard, all hip to the lingo from nearly a decade prior in an alternate timeline, right? I mean, that’s pretty normal, right?

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6 thoughts on “WMHB: The Internet-friendly Guard

  1. Sue September 30, 2013 / 8:37 am

    You are hilarious XD Is it normal? I don’t know… Fun? Yes.

    • Ais September 30, 2013 / 1:23 pm

      Maybe he was transported from our time as that timeline’s messiah, but he ended up being the bit character in someone else’s story so no one listened to him, and that’s why everything goes to shit. ;P

  2. ladysieben October 5, 2013 / 10:09 pm

    Maybe he is *trying* to create a new lingo. Maybe he thinks it’s odd enough that Boyd will remember it and accidentally slip it into his conversations and a ripple effect will take place and OH MY GOD I CREATED SLANG I SHALL TRY TO ADD MORE and suddenly everyone sounds like our timeline.

    … or not.

    • Ais October 6, 2013 / 3:24 am

      AH! Brilliant! That must be it!

  3. Nikkei Wolvenchilde October 7, 2013 / 2:34 am

    SPECIAL SNOWFLAKE PAPERWORK, I just ugly laughed so hard. I really love this. I would wanna see it in there, honestly.

    • Ais October 7, 2013 / 3:47 am

      lol yay! I’m glad it amuses you as much as me XD

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