When synonyms fail; Fade ch 24 editing jokes

Editing Fade chapter 24; Ais’ notes

Contains spoilers for Fade chapter 24, from In the Company of Shadows!

In the process of editing, I was checking this:


When Boyd looked up he saw wild green eyes burning into him; felt Sin breathing harder than he ever had before. A wicked smile drew across Boyd’s lips and he turned his attention to kissing and sucking along the other side of Sin’s neck.

‘Wicked smile’ originally read ‘roguish’ but that had seemed off on my initial run through. When rereading, wicked seemed worse so I tried looking up synonyms of roguish. One list said:

Main Entry:

jocular/jocose/jocund

Part of Speech:

adjective

Definition:

funny, playful

Synonyms:

amusing, blithe, camp, cheerful, comic, comical,crazy, daffy, droll, facetious, flaky*, frolicsome,gay, gleeful, happy, humorous, jesting, jokey,joking, jolly, joshing, jovial, joyous, laughable,lighthearted, lively, ludicrous, merry,mischievous, pleasant, roguish , sportive,teasing, wacky, waggish, whimsical, witty

Antonyms:

morose, serious, unfunny

Imagining replacing ‘roguish’ with ‘jolly’ made me laugh. It changed the scene to this in my mind:


A jolly old smile drew across Boyd’s lips. He returned to making love to Sin’s neck with his tongue.

“Alright, then?” he asked as he drooled all over Sin’s throat. “Only, I can feel your willy digging into me and it’s right distracting.”

When Sin responded with a buck of his hips that rocked the both of them back it drew a spirited, “Good show, old chap!” from the younger gentleman of the back door. “Ripe for the buggery, we are!”

Come on. Be honest. Everyone’s really sad we didn’t go with my imagined edit.

PS: in the end, after considering and rejecting sly, foxy, mischievous, devious… I gave up and went back to roguish.

PPS: some terms taken from http://www.gaydadsupport.net/documents/g_slngppp.PDF. Chop chop, cheerio!

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6 thoughts on “When synonyms fail; Fade ch 24 editing jokes

  1. marilenalena September 25, 2013 / 4:39 am

    Missed opportunity. Sad now.

    • Ais September 25, 2013 / 10:47 pm

      I know, right? It’s probably a bit tragic we don’t punk our own story more often.

  2. ladysieben September 25, 2013 / 8:36 pm

    Okay, now I want a rewrite where Boyd and Sin are British and all their dialogues run along the lines of this.
    (BTW: it’s Ale Meza-Santiago from GR.)

    • Ais September 25, 2013 / 10:48 pm

      LOL It would be hilarious. I totally want to keep calling Boyd “the younger gentleman of the back door” now lol Someone should probably write some really involved fanfic where they were British all along. Also, hey Ale! 😀

      • ladysieben October 6, 2013 / 5:29 am

        Dur, I totally missed this… I’m still getting used to interaction on WP xD

        If I ever get some time in between things, I think I’ll give it a shot. I’ll be sure to use “the younger gentleman of the back door” in it!

  3. Ais October 6, 2013 / 7:41 pm

    I’m still getting used to it, too. lol it would be hilarious if you ever did. No worries if you didn’t. But yessss, younger gentleman of the back door! That def needs to make an appearance haha

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